I swear at least five of my two friends don’t like me
to all my spanish speaking followers: hola
to all my non-spanish speaking followers who feel left out: don’t worry, I just said “hello”. maybe someday you too can grasp another language
So every morning I get off the train and start my 20 minute walk to work, and there’s this guy who’s always like 3 steps ahead of me and always beats me to the street corner bc I get stopped by the light and he passes it. but today I was ahead of him for the first time and he RUNS in front of me, turns around and goes “I’ve been winning for 2 months, can’t stop now, have a good day, see you tomorrow.” tmrw I swear i’m wearing running shoes to work.
Andre is not a happy camper
i went into a whole foods and got to hear a woman arguing with a guy at the meat counter because she wanted grass fed organic chicken and he was desperately trying to explain to her that chickens don’t eat grass